Riske Business: Horror University

by Adam Riske

Horror movie-related memories from my college days.

Hannibal (2001)

During my freshman year, I met a sophomore at a rush party and asked her out. Our second date was going on opening day to see Hannibal. It was her idea, which I thought was pretty badass. The whole movie I was trying to decide when to make a move. Hannibal didn’t help. Mason Verger is a mood killer. We didn’t have a third date.

The Others (2001)

I had a friend in my frat named Jeff who I used to watch movies with. He had terrible ideas (like eating shrooms or recruiting people to forego winter break to work at the Indianapolis airport doing…things?), but he was a very nice guy. One day he called me in and said, “Do you want to see The Others?” I said “Sure, when do you want to go to the theater?” He giggled and said, “I downloaded it!” I got very uncomfortable watching this hot copy. I made it about 30 minutes before the fear of going to prison overwhelmed me and I stopped watching. It didn’t help that I was watching it for the first time with Jeff and his roommate Scott sitting next to me providing commentary like “Watch this part. It’s so stupid!” or when Scott started chanting “Stinky Pinky,” which was his explanation why everyone in the house was afraid of the ghosts. I didn’t end up watching The Others in its entirety until last October. I liked it. Also, don’t join a fraternity.

Jeepers Creepers (2001)/Jeepers Creepers 2 (2003)

Until I found out about the filmmaker behind it, I was a huge fan of the original Jeepers Creepers. It’s such a bummer that I can’t watch it anymore without feeling enormous guilt. I saw the original at the College Mall Cinema (which was second-run) and was blown away, especially by the ending. I went to see Jeepers Creepers 2 with my roommate Tim a couple of years later during its first-run. We went to a 9:30 pm show on a weekday and were the only two people in the theater. I thought this was weird because it was on two screens with another show...also at 9:30pm! Halfway through the movie, Tim and I were bored, and I asked him “Do you think anyone is in the other theater?” The rest of the screening(s) consisted of us going back and forth from theater to theater as we watched both screenings of Jeepers Creepers 2 simultaneously and usually alone. I’m constantly tempted to buy the Scream Factory Blu-ray of Jeepers Creepers, but I feel like it’s a test of my integrity and I don’t.

Bones (2001)

After I saw the poster for Bones, I was all in. The cherry on top was the film was directed by Demon Knight’s Ernest Dickerson. I couldn’t have been more excited to it on opening night. As the day approached I noticed the showtimes for my local theaters didn’t include Bones. Surely, this would change I thought. It didn’t. How can a college campus not get the new horror movie starring Snoop Dogg? I was devastated. My friend Josh said “Well, where’s the closest place it’s playing?” I said “Indianapolis,” (which was about 60 minutes away and I didn’t have a car) and he goes “We’re leaving at 7:30 for the 9:30pm show.” Dude was my hero. I said “Better make it 7. In case it sells out.” We got to the theater (maybe five people were in attendance), the movie was not good at all, and we drove all the way back to campus sometimes silent and sometimes incredulous at how big of a miss Bones was.

The Ring (2002)

I saw The Ring with my college girlfriend who liked mainstream PG-13 horror, but not much of the grislier stuff. She really wanted to see The Ring. We both liked it at the time (it doesn’t work on repeat viewings, imho). I remember she left her car running in the parking lot the entire movie and somehow neither of us noticed until we got back afterwards. I’m surprised her battery didn’t die. I also remember my ex used to taunt me by making her wet hair cover her face like Samara from The Ring. I didn’t like it.

Bubba Ho-Tep (2002)

Certain movies became missions for me in college, like Bones or The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra (I must have watched that trailer fifty times over a one-week period). Bubba Ho-Tep, though, was the ultimate and a movie I still adore to this day. Like Bones, the closest place it played was in Indianapolis, this time at a run-down, two-screen art theater. The other movie, I remember, was Israeli. I went with Josh and the trip was a real trek, but very memorable and worth it. We went to a cafeteria style Jewish deli afterwards, which I remember being a prerequisite for him agreeing to drive over an hour to roll the dice on another horror movie with me. An absolutely perfect night.

Cabin Fever (2003)

I saw Cabin Fever alone on a beautiful fall afternoon during its opening weekend. Within five minutes, I regretted that decision. Cabin Fever needed to be seen with friends. I sat there loving the movie, but also dying inside knowing that nobody would understand Deputy Winston without seeing him for themselves. I dragged my friend Tim (of Jeepers Creepers 2 fame) to see Cabin Fever with me a second time. Tim and I still talked for years post-graduation. Fifty percent of our conversation was usually one of us talking about the Party Man being top priority and how the people up in Wambusau don’t know what we’re all about.

Van Helsing (2004)

This was one of the worst moviegoing experiences of my entire life for many reasons. First, Van Helsing is a terrible movie and, even worse, a missed opportunity. Second, my ex (who was in town that weekend for my college graduation) and I were in the process of breaking up in real time in front of my family for two days. Third, a member of my family started getting a pain in their side during the movie and had to go to the hospital afterwards. While at the hospital, my ex blamed me for taking her to the hospital because she said she could overhear someone dying and that it was going to scar her for life. What a shitty way to end college. It was pure horror.

Your turn! Leave your amusing college (or non-college) horror moviegoing memories in the comments below.